I loved that song back in the day. It was the hit of the skating rink and ALWAYS celebrated when it played.
This isn’t about that lovely anthem by Queen, however. This is about me. Me and my potential careers. Me and my potential life. Me and my potential, period.
You see, my potential – like so many other intangible things – is limitless. The world IS, indeed, my oyster in my fucking potential. Reality, though? Reality is a different story altogether. Reality is messy. And painful. And confusing. Honestly? I don’t do well in reality. Not for long, anyway.
I’ve spent my life jumping from imagined potential world to imagined potential world, always caught up in the effort to try and actually make that world a reality. Always climbing up but never arriving at the destination. Jump ship. Try again.
And here we are. Sitting in my mother’s apartment. 53 years old, unemployed, nothing to my name, no prospects, and no future. Nothing to give to MY two children (grown and quite capable women). Nothing to give to myself. Once again feeling like the biggest failure on the planet.
Another potential world crumbles.
Launching two independent, confident, self-starting women is one hel of an accomplishment. Investing in your mother and her well-being, another thing you should be proud of, too many children give up on their parents. What’s that song, “gotta climb that hill?” I can’t remember. Climb that hill of crumbles and see where it leads you. They always say it’s the journey and not the destination.