First of all, please let me offer a sincere apology if I repeat myself … often. My ADHD is so out-of-control yet so totally in control of my life, it’s nightmarish. If it weren’t so damn sad, I would adopt, “I forgot,” as my mantra. I don’t think repetition of that even in a hummy sing-song fashion would provoke anything good to happen in my life. lol.
ANYWAY!! Community!!
I used to have quite the online community… several different kinds at several different times, actually, and I loved and depended on all of them very much!
From my first AOL-sprung Star Trek role playing “room” to G-blog then Jumpgate then my first Pagan group in MSN Groups – several more of those different kinds then World of Warcraft. Since then, my online communities have kinda disappeared. I sometimes long for the “good ol’ days” when I had a community of people I could turn to for support with anything. You see, I lost that along the way. People change and move on. The web changes and skyrockets on. Old-ish people like me are left somewhere back in the mid-2000s wondering what the fuck just happened?
Enter the current community I find myself hoping to be a part of – web dev. Excitement struck me a few months ago when I realized what I should be “doing with my life” and my love of internet creating (HTML & CSS) returned. I saw this path for my life, clearly, for the first time in a LONNNNNG time! Brush up on my HTML and CSS skills, learn more and get better, then also throw JavaScript in the mix and learn that. Then I would be SET for my new career in front-end web development. Right? WRONG! DEAD! ASS! FUCKING! WRONG!
The world of web development has become so complicated, complex, convoluted, and just straight-up confusing – it makes me super sad. The web dev community has followed suit. Let me explain.
There are sooooo mannnnny peoplllllle!! Everywhere I turn these days. Groups are too big. Too many members for me to feel connected at all. I try to follow one of the classic “off topic” threads (titled “chit chat” or something similar) in order to get to know some people, and there have been so many messages posted in the past HOUR alone, how the fuck do I catch up from where I left off LAST NIGHT?? There seems to be no continuity of care here. Just little pockets of separated interaction between different people almost every time. So, my solution to this? (after trying several times to be engaged only to be left stuttering [figuratively], lost, and completely exhausted)
Just don’t even try.
Why bother?
I don’t feel I’m contributing anything, and the only way I can feel fully engaged is to do NOTHING ELSE except read and write Discord messages all day. I can’t do that. I’m supposed to be learning “coding” in order to create a better path in my life.
In addition to the sheer number of people found in these communities, the type of person most found? Nerd bullies! That is nerds who are bullies, not those who bully nerds. I’m talking about TRUE keyboard warriors who can take apart your suggestions and proffered thoughts in a split second simply by throwing around any tech term they can think of or that they know about (and you don’t) to try and muddy up the conversation, so they can ultimately scream, “I WIN!” In addition to tech word salad junkies who like to bully newbies, they are also the worst group of know-it-alls I’ve ever seen!!
This isn’t anything new to the tech sector of the world. Nerds have always been the worst kind of bully, really. It just wasn’t seen anywhere near the main stream. I’m afraid that’s changed, too. Maybe that’s why there are soooo mannnny peopllllle in the industry now – because it’s become more mainstream. I don’t like it. I can’t become a member of that kind of club.
This whole outburst I’ve recorded here is what happened at the Huddle House instead of working on web dev exercises and tutorials. Why, you ask?
Because I went to Discord first to check new messages.
</rant>
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